Looking after yourself while you care

Caring for others can become a life with no breaks. Mothers get up first and sleep last. Grandmothers care for grandchildren while managing their own aches. Nobody notices when you are running on empty.

Signs you may need support

• You are tired in a way that rest does not fix.
• You feel irritable, tearful or numb.
• You have stopped doing things you used to enjoy.
• You have aches, headaches or poor sleep.
• You feel guilty when you take any time for yourself.

Small ways to refill

• Take ten minutes in the day that are yours: tea, a short prayer, music, a stretch.
• Ask for something specific. 'Can you take Mohan to school on Tuesday?' is easier to answer than a general plea.
• Eat and drink at proper times, not after everyone else.
• Talk to another woman who understands: a neighbour, a self-help group member, a friend.
• Visit the doctor for your own health too.

Rest is not selfish. A caregiver who is supported gives better care, and a child, a patient or an elder is calmer when you are.