Understanding feelings

Feelings are messages from the body, not good or bad behaviour. Children who can say 'I am angry' or 'I feel left out' are less likely to hit, hide or go quiet. Words come with practice and with adults who listen.

For children

• Happy, sad, angry, scared and shy are all normal feelings. Everyone has them, including grown-ups.
• Where do you feel it? Maybe a tight tummy when you are nervous, or hot cheeks when you are embarrassed.
• You can say, 'I feel ___ because ___.' Even a guess is fine.
• Choose someone you trust, such as Ma, Papa, Dadi, a teacher or an older cousin, to tell.

For parents and teachers

• Name feelings out loud: 'You look upset that Rohan took your turn.'
• Say 'I understand' before you correct behaviour. All feelings are allowed. Not every action is.
• Avoid 'Big boys don't cry' and 'Don't be silly'. They teach children to hide feelings.
• Share your own feelings simply: 'I felt tired and cross today, so I took a few breaths.'

If a child seems sad, worried or angry for weeks, or loses interest in play, talk to the school counsellor, a paediatrician or the anganwadi worker.